What If There Isn't A Plan?

If I have learned anything about myself it is that my favorite word is "Why". I must use that word in relation to some event or topic at least a dozen times a day. And the topic that seems to evoke that question most often is God's plan for my life.

Why am I here and what am I supposed to be doing?

Why did this or that happen?

Why can't I figure out God's plan for my life?

Why won't He make His plan clear?

And somehow after all of the prayer, fasting, study and spiritual counsel, I am no closer to finding an answer to "Why" than I was when I was twelve. In fact, the passing of the years has only resulted in an abundance of questions -- very, very few answers.


A friend recently wrote me and asked what I thought God was telling me about a particular issue in my life. My answer was an embarassing "I'm not sure".

So I ask myself, What if there isn't a plan? Or, if there is a plan, am I really supposed to know it. Or worse yet, what if there is a plan and I figure it out too late.

I unashamedly envy those who know with certainty why they are here. I count them as the most blessed people in the world because to go through life unsure is a bit of a curse.

Of course none of you have these thoughts. But if you have a friend that does, tell them they're not alone.