Sunday, April 2, 2006

Laughing At Ourselves

Bulletin Bleepers Keep Coming

!!! The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.  The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.

!!! Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

!!! The agenda was adopted . . . the minutes were approved. . . the financial secretary gave a grief report.

!!! Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

!!! The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.

!!! Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine:  Name: Bertha Belch
!!! Announcement: "Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."

!!! Announcement in a church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes Meals."

!!! Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

!!! Will the ladies of the Willing Workers who have towels which belong to the kitchen please bring them to the church on Friday as we need them for supper.
God Speaks Billboards

Some new billboards are popping up all along major highways all over the country depicting some things God might say.
The billboards are a simple black background with white text with no fine print or sponsoring organization listed. Here's a list of
all variations of the "God Speaks" billboards.

Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game. -God

C'mon over and bring the kids. -God

What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand? -God

We need to talk. -God

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer. -God

Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. -God

That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it. -God

I love you and you and you and you and... -God

Will the road you're on get you to my place? -God

Follow me. -God

Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding. -God

My way is the highway. -God

Need directions? -God

You think it's hot here? -God

Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test. -God

Do you have any idea where you're going? -God

Don't make me come down there. -God
Best Preacher

Two ladies were praising the merits of their respective pastors. “Our minister is so wonderful, he can preach a dozen sermons from the same text,” said the first woman.

“Why that’s nothing,” the second responded. “Our minister can take any text in the Bible and preach the same sermon from it!”
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Check out the WWJ website for….
More David's Doodlings:
An Entertaining book of poetry:
God Facts (A mine of information):
Facts for Fun:
Marriage and Family Facts:


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