Friday, May 19, 2006

Laugh Medicine

Actual Bible College quotes! 2001

"When you boil water in the cattle the steam is very hot." (For "cattle" read "kettle")

"Sometimes I have my quiet time before I wake up in the morning."

"The spirit of the diseased will haunt the family that are living until they have sacrificed." (For "diseased" read "deceased")

"We read in the newspapers how the Pop travels around the world." (For "Pop" read "Pope")

"We need to read the Bible as a hole to determine what God's will is..." (for "hole" read "whole")

"Jesus expects the world to bow beaver Him." (For "beaver" read "before")

"Freedom of Religion has allowed Buddhists... to influenza the society." (For "influenza" read "influence")

"They say Jesus is just a good person like Guatemala, Krishna and Confucius." (For "Guatemala" read "Gautama")

"When I was growing up I was exposed to all sorts of evil...things like girls..." (ASM Application)

"The call on me to save God was so intense such that I could not just help it." (For "save" read "serve"; ASM Application)

"The draft faculty policy document "is a complication of all the policies made over the past few years." (For "complication" read "compilation") Faculty Meeting Minutes

"God allows His people to go through tuft times to test their faith." (For "tuft" read "tough")

"People should do good things and live sin..." (For "live" read "leave")

"...And surly I am with you always to the very end of the age." (For "surly" read "surely")

"...Jesus resurrection will bring about... our waling in newness of life." (For "waling" read "walking")

"the greatest single cause of atheism today is those who acknowledge Jesus with their but..." (Read "acknowledge Jesus with their mouth, but deny him with their lives.")

'First I am trying to start a relationship with people and missionaries that stay in Madagascar so that I have a staring point when I get there." (For "staring" read "starting")

"God will show me in which aria he wants to use me in." (For "aria" read "area")

"He is helping me to start care-to-shear groups that can look after me while I am on the mission field. (For "shear" read "share")

"I got an extension due to a power failure from the lecturer." (Read "I got an extension from the lecturer due to a power failure!")

"We are not to put the yolk of tradition upon their heads." (For "yolk" read "yoke")

"Israel went into the dessert and at Sinai God made a covenant with them." (For "dessert" read "desert")
Forward this joke to a Friend: Forward to a Friend
There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door."

Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, "I want a shave!" The barber said, "Sure, just sit in the seat and I'll be with you in a moment." The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, "God, the first customer came in and I'm going to witness to him. So please give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen."

Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying "Good morning sir. I have a question for you..........Are you ready to die?"
Forward this joke to a Friend: Forward to a Friend
A minister had several good illustrations that he used effectively in a sermon on "living water." At one point he said, "God's living water is like the water flowing in the Mississippi River. It's free."

After the sermon a skeptic came up to him and observed, "If the water in the Mississippi river is free, why do you pass the plate to take up a collection during the church service."

Unfazed the pastor replied, "Well, while the water is free, you do have to pay to
get it piped directly to your door."
Forward this joke to a Friend: Forward to a Friend
General Enquiries and Comments:


Check out the WWJ website for….
More Jokes:
God Facts (A mine of information):
Facts for Fun:
Marriage and Family Facts:
Just jokes:

© Walking With Jesus Ministries Charitable Trust: As this material is freely received, use is freely given, indeed encouraged, for non-commercial purposes. Acknowledgement of the source is always appreciated

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.