So you think you're not qualified for your calling, check out these pastoral candidates.  :)

PASTORAL CANDIDATES

The following is a confidential report on several candidates being considered for a pastorate.

ADAM: Good man but problems with his wife. Also one reference told of how his wife and he enjoy walking nude in the woods.

NOAH: Former pastorate of 120 years with not even one convert. Prone to unrealistic building projects.

ABRAHAM: Though the references reported wife-swapping, the facts seem to show he never slept with another man's wife, but did offer to share his own wife with another man.

JOSEPH: A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting, and has a prison record.

MOSES: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.

DAVID: The most promising leader of all until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbor's wife.

SOLOMON: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.

ELIJAH: Prone to depression. Collapses under pressure.

ELISHA: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former church.

HOSEA: A tender and loving pastor but our people could never handle his wife's occupation.

DEBORAH: Strong leader and seems to be anointed, but she is female.

JEREMIAH: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.

JONAH: Refused God's call into ministry until he was forced to obey by getting swallowed up by a great fish. He told us the fish later spit him out on the shore near here. We hung up.

AMOS: Too backward and unpolished. With some seminary training he might have promise, but has a hang-up against wealthy people--might fit in better in a poor congregation.

courtesy of

Walking With Jesus Ministries
3 Hetley Crescent
Taradale
Napier 4001
New Zealand

Phone: (06) 8449-377 International (+64) 8449-377
Email: enquiries@wwj.org.nz
Web: wwj.org.nz

***Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused***