So you think you're not qualified for your calling, check out these pastoral candidates. :)
The following is a confidential report on several candidates being considered for a pastorate.
ADAM: Good man but problems with his wife. Also one reference told of how his wife and he enjoy walking nude in the woods.
NOAH: Former pastorate of 120 years with not even one convert. Prone to unrealistic building projects.
ABRAHAM: Though the references reported wife-swapping, the facts seem to show he never slept with another man's wife, but did offer to share his own wife with another man.
JOSEPH: A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting, and has a prison record.
MOSES: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.
DAVID: The most promising leader of all until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbor's wife.
SOLOMON: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.
ELIJAH: Prone to depression. Collapses under pressure.
ELISHA: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former church.
HOSEA: A tender and loving pastor but our people could never handle his wife's occupation.
DEBORAH: Strong leader and seems to be anointed, but she is female.
JEREMIAH: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.
JONAH: Refused God's call into ministry until he was forced to obey by getting swallowed up by a great fish. He told us the fish later spit him out on the shore near here. We hung up.
AMOS: Too backward and unpolished. With some seminary training he might have promise, but has a hang-up against wealthy people--might fit in better in a poor congregation.
Walking With Jesus Ministries
3 Hetley Crescent
Phone: (06) 8449-377 International (+64) 8449-377
***Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused***