The Frozen River by Ariel LawhonMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
View all my reviews
Monday, January 19, 2026
Wednesday, November 23, 2022
Thursday, March 12, 2020
Thursday, July 4, 2019
July 4th - The Day a Nation Remembers What It Was and What It Wants To Be
Today, as in every critical time in United States history, The Declaration of Independence is calling each of us to live up to its words.
On July 4th, the US celebrates the signing of a document declaring its independence from British rule and the creation of a republic that would be named The United States of America. Those who try to turn this day into something else diminish the significance of that moment and the beauty of the document.
We know from history, that the majority of men who signed this declaration did not hold a vision of "liberty" that included the African slave and indigenous inhabitants of this land. However, despite their mindset, providence used them to craft a document containing universal truths that apply to all mankind and, regardless of the intent of the original signers, that document has its own indisputable legacy.
July 4th is a day when the United States of America collectively remembers what it was, what it is, and what it aspires to become. While the individual ideas of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness of US residents always have and always will differ in nuance, for the better part of the last 50 years the dream of what the nation would become was similar for the vast majority. Yet, this July 4th, many people are questioning whether the nation will ever live up to the words written in its founding document.
The Declaration of Independence and, The Constitution of the United States remain foundational documents that establish the principles which formed this government. Their words continue to shape our government as it struggles to evolve from the thinking of 18th century men whose character flaws allowed them to justify slavery and view themselves as superior to both the slave and indigenous person, to the enlightened thoughts and dreams of 21st century mankind which recognizes the ignorance of an ideology that is not aligned with the belief that "all men (and women) are created equal and endowed, simply by virtue of their birth, with certain inalienable rights.
So today, I wish everyone in the United States of America a happy, safe and peaceful Fourth of July and the dream of a Happy Independence Day. I hope that at some time during this day or weekend you will take a moment to reflect on the words in The Declaration of Independence and the responsibility that it implies.
Today, history is calling and the fate of a nation depends on your answer.
These are the words of The Declaration of Independence.
IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States of America
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton
Massachusetts:
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery
Connecticut:
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott
New York:
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris
New Jersey:
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark
Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross
Delaware:
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean
Maryland:
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia:
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton
North Carolina:
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn
South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton
Georgia:
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton
On July 4th, the US celebrates the signing of a document declaring its independence from British rule and the creation of a republic that would be named The United States of America. Those who try to turn this day into something else diminish the significance of that moment and the beauty of the document.
We know from history, that the majority of men who signed this declaration did not hold a vision of "liberty" that included the African slave and indigenous inhabitants of this land. However, despite their mindset, providence used them to craft a document containing universal truths that apply to all mankind and, regardless of the intent of the original signers, that document has its own indisputable legacy.
July 4th is a day when the United States of America collectively remembers what it was, what it is, and what it aspires to become. While the individual ideas of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness of US residents always have and always will differ in nuance, for the better part of the last 50 years the dream of what the nation would become was similar for the vast majority. Yet, this July 4th, many people are questioning whether the nation will ever live up to the words written in its founding document.
The Declaration of Independence and, The Constitution of the United States remain foundational documents that establish the principles which formed this government. Their words continue to shape our government as it struggles to evolve from the thinking of 18th century men whose character flaws allowed them to justify slavery and view themselves as superior to both the slave and indigenous person, to the enlightened thoughts and dreams of 21st century mankind which recognizes the ignorance of an ideology that is not aligned with the belief that "all men (and women) are created equal and endowed, simply by virtue of their birth, with certain inalienable rights.
So today, I wish everyone in the United States of America a happy, safe and peaceful Fourth of July and the dream of a Happy Independence Day. I hope that at some time during this day or weekend you will take a moment to reflect on the words in The Declaration of Independence and the responsibility that it implies.
Today, history is calling and the fate of a nation depends on your answer.
These are the words of The Declaration of Independence.
IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States of America
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton
Massachusetts:
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery
Connecticut:
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott
New York:
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris
New Jersey:
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark
Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross
Delaware:
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean
Maryland:
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia:
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton
North Carolina:
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn
South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton
Georgia:
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton
Wednesday, June 12, 2019
Remember to Look Across The Field
There's a phenomenon, which I believe is unique to sports, in which the non-participants (fans) develop an emotional investment in, and vicarious relationship with, the complete strangers (athletes) for whom they cheer. Sadly, too many fans take their fanaticism to an extreme, but that's a topic for another post.
In my case, as I've aged, I find myself viewing sporting events through the eyes of a pseudo-grandparent. You know the type. That older person who wants everyone to feel like a winner even when they lose and throws out colloquialisms and clichés like, "it's not whether you win or lose but how you play the game." Yes, I've become one of those people who sees almost everything that happens in sports as a metaphor and an opportunity to explain the beauty, heartbreak, and often precarious nature of life's journey. So, while at 4 pm yesterday I was thrilled and feeling that rush of pride that most sports fans feel when "their team" is winning, four and a half hours later I was torn between being excited that my kids had won and feeling heartbroken for the kids who lost.
Like most US soccer fans, I had been waiting all week for the US Women's Soccer Team's return to the World Cup. My work schedule allowed me to watch the first half in real time and return from my break, knowing that with a lead of 3-0 over their competition, the US Women were certain to win their match. However, when I learned later that the margin of victory had been 13-0, my enthusiasm was tempered by empathy for the coach and players of Team Thailand.
I don't buy into that "you're either with me or against me, win, win, win" philosophy. Sports isn't war, and even in war, there is room for empathy for enemy combatants. The women of Team Thailand had worked, trained and waited for four long years to play on the world's biggest soccer stage too and, yesterday they found themselves in the path of an unstoppable, powerful, red train, coming at them throttle open, full speed. At some point, Team Thailand must have felt like the proverbial deer in headlights. At least that's how I would have felt. In fact, I know exactly how it feels to compete against a team that you know is more talented. You give it your all and pray that you come out of the competition relatively unscathed and with your dignity intact. Thankfully, I never played on a world stage. I didn't want to watch the second half of the World Cup match last night, but the since the US Women's victory was historic, I recorded it for a later date. I'm still incredibly proud of them.
I can think of dozens of metaphors to compare the US Women's win over Thailand to life. There's the family who celebrates one child getting straights As when their other child struggles to get Cs. The kids who get new cars for their birthday and drive them to school to show them off to their friends who catch the bus. The family member who just bought a house when another member is struggling to pay the rent. The co-worker who is being honored at a retirement banquet when a fellow co-worker will never be able to afford to retire. This is life. In each of the above scenarios, the individual has a reason to celebrate their achievements and should not be resented by the latter for doing so. Yet, those who identify with the first person in any of those scenarios should be reminded to have empathy for their counterparts.
At one time or another, we have been or will be the US Women's Team and at other times been Team Thailand. If I had grandchildren I would tell them that the greatest achievement in life is to handle both situations with grace and, to celebrate the victories but remember to take a moment to look across the field.
Saturday, April 6, 2019
The Justice League is Real
The biggest question of 2019 probably isn't "can you hear me?" but rather, "can you see me?"
Listen to this 2016 TedTalk as MIT graduate student and founder of the Algorithmic Justice League, Joy Buolamwini explains the problem of bias in facial recognition software and other forms of AI.
Yes, superheroes are real.
Listen to this 2016 TedTalk as MIT graduate student and founder of the Algorithmic Justice League, Joy Buolamwini explains the problem of bias in facial recognition software and other forms of AI.
Yes, superheroes are real.
Friday, March 8, 2019
Learning, Laughing and Leaving A Legacy
If you've been following along, you know that my journey has taken me to three amazing institutions of higher education. Today, I want to give them a quick shoutout.
Enjoy.
Emerson College, Boston, MA
Temple University, Philadelphia, PA
The University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY
Have a great weekend
Enjoy.
Emerson College, Boston, MA
Temple University, Philadelphia, PA
The University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY
Have a great weekend
Monday, February 25, 2019
Breathing Under Water by Emelie Sande
No major pronouncements in this post. Just one of my favorite videos.
Can You Relate?
I just had to post this. Can you relate?
Nike and Serena Williams celebrate 'crazy' women in this powerful #Oscars ad — Here's the full commercial pic.twitter.com/9snADVYcRb— NowThis (@nowthisnews) February 25, 2019
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
Have you ever misplaced something and for a moment thought that it was lost forever? Most of us have gone through the experience of misplacing keys, papers or some other item. However for many current or former caregivers, there is a sense that they have misplaced their lives before caregiving and those lives are lost to them forever.
For many years I felt that way however, after connecting with support groups like "The Caregivers Space" and "Memory People" I discovered that I was not alone. A primary requirement of being a full-time caregiver is being able to put the needs of another person before your own. However when that becomes a daily habit over an extended time period, a person slowly loses their sense of identity, and as an extension, their life. And once that life is lost, in many ways it is lost forvever. Thankfully that's not the end and, that lost can become an opportunity.
You learn a great deal from being a full-time caregiver and those lessons will change you forever. You will not be the same person you were when you started your journey and you should not expect to go back to the life of the "pre-caregiving" you. You are a new creature and your goal should not be to resume life as it was but rather to begin a new life that suits the new you.
So where do you begin. Ironically in order to move forward you need to first take a good hard honest look back. This will not be easy because we all have a tendency to romanticize the past. So be honest there were both good old days and bad old days.
Your main objective in looking back is to remember yourself at your best and ask yourself these questions:
What was I doing right? How did I feel about myself and treat myself? What were my surroundings? Who were my encouragers? What were my habits? What did I want out of life for myself?
The saying is very true that we make a life by what we give. However when you've given all you had, it's not selfish to begin building a new life by focusing on your own needs.
Wishing all of my fellow former caregivers and friends a wonderful new beginning in 2018.
--- originally posted in 2015
For many years I felt that way however, after connecting with support groups like "The Caregivers Space" and "Memory People" I discovered that I was not alone. A primary requirement of being a full-time caregiver is being able to put the needs of another person before your own. However when that becomes a daily habit over an extended time period, a person slowly loses their sense of identity, and as an extension, their life. And once that life is lost, in many ways it is lost forvever. Thankfully that's not the end and, that lost can become an opportunity.
You learn a great deal from being a full-time caregiver and those lessons will change you forever. You will not be the same person you were when you started your journey and you should not expect to go back to the life of the "pre-caregiving" you. You are a new creature and your goal should not be to resume life as it was but rather to begin a new life that suits the new you.
So where do you begin. Ironically in order to move forward you need to first take a good hard honest look back. This will not be easy because we all have a tendency to romanticize the past. So be honest there were both good old days and bad old days.
Your main objective in looking back is to remember yourself at your best and ask yourself these questions:
What was I doing right? How did I feel about myself and treat myself? What were my surroundings? Who were my encouragers? What were my habits? What did I want out of life for myself?
The saying is very true that we make a life by what we give. However when you've given all you had, it's not selfish to begin building a new life by focusing on your own needs.
Wishing all of my fellow former caregivers and friends a wonderful new beginning in 2018.
--- originally posted in 2015
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
The Next Chapter Begins
The following isn't my story. But it could be and that is where the next chapter begins. Stay tuned.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Why Everyone Loses in an Us Vs. Them Election
“What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.” – Robert F Kennedy
I promised myself that I would take Chris Matthews' advice and leave the analysis of US politics to the professionals and I am keeping that promise. After all, I tried my hand at writing for a bipartisan political blog and became very disillusioned when I realized that so many people would rather argue to make their point than try to listen and understand another person's point of view. Instead today I am sharing my thoughts not on the candidates but rather on what I have heard and read from that microcosm of society with whom I live, work and associate with on social media.
Before I elaborate on why this post opens with that quote, for the benefit of those of you who have not read my previous blog posts or do not know me personally, here is a little background on the life experiences which frame my thoughts. I am very much a child of the sixties who grew up in a very typical working class Black family. I listened to and was greatly influenced by the words of visionary leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., John Kennedy and Robert Kennedy. As a child I also remember watching actual news coverage, not archived footage, of the Viet Nam War, the Civil Rights Movement and the funerals of all of those aforementioned heroes, all victims of senseless acts of violence. I remember when man first walked on the moon and girls were first allowed to wear pants to public school. I am also the teenager of the seventies who wore an Afro and sang along to Aretha Franklin’s “Young, Gifted and Black” as well as Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run”. I went to college in Boston, MA just as that city was in a conflict over school desegregation. It was there that I learned how very similar people of all races and religions truly are. It was also there that I first felt the hatred of racism when a bunch of White teenage boys drove by in a car and called me the “N” word while throwing a bottle. I am a woman of the eighties who cast her first vote in a presidential election for Jimmy Carter, my first taste of how it feels when your candidate doesn’t win and an opposing ideology prevails. I am a woman who never doubted that I had the right to pursue a career and that my life was not defined by marital status or how attractive I was to a man. I am also a woman who was absolutely in awe that I was able to stand with my mother and vote for the first African American US President. And I am now a woman who has lived over half a century and experienced the loss of loved ones, personal and professional successes as well as heartbreaking setbacks. I was born and raised in Philadelphia, PA but have also lived in Boston, MA, Charleston, SC, in small towns in Nebraska and most recently, Charlotte, NC. And through my life’s journey I have seen both the very best and the very worst of human nature in both others and myself. Hopefully, that synopsis provides you with a bit of perspective on the rest of what you will read. You can read my earlier blog posts to learn more about me. Now back to my opening quote.
“What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”
Over the course of the recent presidential election campaign cycle, the political candidates did what political candidates have done since Adams and Jefferson. The candidates threw out enough rhetorical red meat to build a voting block in order to win an election and like ravenous wolves much of the public and the media fed on it, with the media regurgitating it over and over just in case someone missed it. To those who are not students of history or political junkies the antics of this election campaign seemed new and particularly unseemly. In reality there was nothing new about these shenanigans and the mud-slinging negative tone.
The day before the election I shared a post with my Facebook friends many of whom had been expressing their dismay with the rhetoric that they had heard and read during this presidential campaign. Of course that was a Facebook post that was hastily written without the benefit of spell check and contained my usual share of typos.
While this campaign has been particularly repugnant to most of us with the blatant racism, sexism, xenophobia and just plain mean-spiritedness, believe it or not there have been worse. Just read this article about Adams vs. Jefferson. What makes this campaign seem so atrocious is the fact that we are living in a 24-hour news, social media, and globally wired world.
"Back in 1776, the dynamic duo combined powers to help claim America's independence, and they had nothing but love and respect for one another. But by 1800, party politics had so distanced the pair that, for the first and last time in U.S. history, a president found himself running against his VP.
Things got ugly fast. Jefferson's camp accused President Adams of having a 'hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman.' In return, Adams' men called Vice President Jefferson 'a mean-spirited, low-lived fellow, the son of a half-breed Indian squaw, sired by a Virginia mulatto father.' As the slurs piled on, Adams was labeled a fool, a hypocrite, a criminal, and a tyrant, while Jefferson was branded a weakling, an atheist, a libertine, and a coward. Even Martha Washington succumbed to the propaganda, telling a clergyman that Jefferson was 'one of the most detestable of mankind.'"
See more at:
http://m.mentalfloss.com/article.php?id=12487#sthash.WiiJdjlp.dpuf
-
Does any of this sound familiar?
She’s a liar. She can’t be trusted. She’s a criminal. She’s evil. She has low morals. Her husband has low morals. She’s weak.
He’s a racist? He’s mentally ill. He’s evil. He has low morals. His wife has low morals. He’s a coward.
I won’t debate the merits of any of any of those allegations nor will I list them all. You’ve probably heard them or read most of them including the truly insane and absurd suggestions from persons in both camps that the candidate of the other party need to be violently removed.
Not only were those comments made about the candidates they were said about their supporters and often the word “All” was included in those statements.
What is truly tragic about this election is that while the nation has grown and become more diverse over the past 300 years, our political discourse has failed to evolve with it. That says more about our society as a whole than it does about any individual political candidate or their campaign. It speaks to the fact that for too many of us the world is viewed through the lens of “us vs. them”.
Last night as I was watching the election returns come in a very well educated and reasonably rational person in the same room made the statement, “You know that all White people think like him. They all call us “Ni____s” behind closed doors”. Of course, I had a comeback for that comment but as I uttered it I knew that my words were falling on the ears of someone for whom this is their dogma. In that, they are no different than the people for whom the idea that all Muslims are dangerous, all Hispanics are illegals and all poor people are lazy and want a free ride from working people.
I still believe the words of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. who refused “to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become reality.” Like Dr. King, I too “believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.” However, people and election cycles always test my faith in humanity especially when people for whom I have profound respect make statements like, “I have given up discussing Black folks’ business with White people who will never understand”. Should I stop trying to discuss issues involving the struggles of family caregivers or the challenges faced by the homeless too? Should we all just stop trying to communicate to others who aren’t “like us” or who don’t share our views? Where would we all be today if the abolitionists and suffragettes had stop trying to be understood?
When did we stop listening to each other? It seems that too many of us hear and judge but refuse to truly listen.
“The intolerant man will not rely on persuasion, or on the worth of the idea.
He would deny to others the very freedom of opinion or of dissent which he so stridently demands for himself. He cannot trust democracy.” – Robert F. Kennedy
Yet that is what we continue to do.
“The task of leadership, the first task of concerned people, is not to condemn or castigate, or deplore: it is to search out the reason for disillusionment and alienation, the rationale of protest and dissent.” ---- Robert F. Kennedy
While I am fully aware that there were elements of racism, religious intolerance, xenophobia and misogyny which were clearly apparent during this election cycle, I also know that not every vote cast for either candidate can be so easily labeled or explained.
For example how can you say that the educated White female South Carolinian who may have voted for Nikki Haley as Governor is ignorant because she did not vote for Hillary Clinton? Could it be that this voter disagreed with Ms. Clinton on the issue of abortion or same-sex marriage and those beliefs were reflected in her vote? We will never know if we don’t ask her and listen to her reply.
Is the Black woman who voted for Hillary Clinton not a true Christian because her vote?
Is the White male former factory worker whose company moved out of town and now he can not find a job working 40 hours a week that will pay his mortgage and car note a bigot because he voted for Trump or just angry because he is facing financial hardship and believes that one candidate will represent his views? We will never know if we hold the view that all Trump supporters are bigots.
Is the Black man who refrained from voting irresponsible because he believes that neither candidate understands what it is like to live in fear of being killed by police?
I could present at least 100 scenarios based on people with whom I’ve interacted which fit none of the neatly defined stereotypes that are so often used to describe how people voted or why they protest.
“ I am certain that after the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or in politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit. “ -- President John F Kennedy, remarks at a closed-circuit television broadcast on behalf of the national cultural center, November 29, 1962. Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: John F. Kennedy, 1962, pp. 84647.
“We cannot expect that everyone, to use the phrase of a decade ago, will talk sense to the American people. But we can hope that fewer people will listen to nonsense. And the notion that this Nation is headed for defeat through deficit, or that strength is but a matter of slogans, is nothing but just plain nonsense. “ -- President John F. Kennedy, remarks prepared for delivery at the Trade Mart in Dallas, Texas, November 22, 1963.Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: John F. Kennedy, 1963, p. 891. This speech was never delivered. President Kennedy was on his way to the Trade Mart when he was assassinated.
I close this blog post with an excerpt from a more recent and, like all the others, a far more eloquent voice than mine.
"That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly, our schools fail too many -- and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our land; a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this America: They will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord. On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our politics. We remain a young nation. But in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness." -- Excerpt from President Barack Obama's 2009 Inaugural Address
https://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2009/01/21/president-barack-obamas-inaugural-address
In order to accomplish any of this, we must all assume, “the first task of concerned people, … not to condemn or castigate, or deplore: (but instead) search out the reason for disillusionment and alienation, the rationale of protest and dissent.”
In short we need to speak to each other and truly listen. The world is not divided into “Us vs. Them”.
Friday, October 28, 2016
What Family Caregivers Need - A Response to Caring Across Generations
Josephine Kalipeni, Director of Policy and Partnerships for Caring Across Generations recently asked family caregivers to share their thoughts on what would make their caregiving life easier. In her letter to caregivers, she wrote:
“If you employ a caregiver, what would make that experience better? If you’re caring for your family, is there anything (or things) that could make the hard parts easier to manage?
The thing is, while it often feels extremely isolating, caregivers are not alone. And with so many Americans turning 65 every day, the challenges many of us face in our daily lives are replicated in every corner of this country, at an accelerating pace.
We are going to provide our recommendations to the next president-elect as soon as possible after Election Day, November 8. So we need to know what you want and need today.”
While my journey as a family caregiver ended in 2012, I shared a few of my thoughts in the hope that they may benefit current and future caregivers. The following, with a few minor edits, was my reply. I still haven't mastered writing on a phone.
---
The following are just a few of the things that would have made my caregiving life easier:
-- uniformity in the laws pertaining to legal and healthcare Power of Attorneys across all 50 states and territories. Documents executed in one state need to be honored in all states because family caregivers often need to handle legal and healthcare issues with institutions which are based in states other than the one in which their loved one resides;
--insurance companies should cover the expense for home health aides (CNAs and registered home care aides) in the same manner in which they cover other rehabilitative and habilitative therapists, such as speech and occupational therapists;
-- insurance companies should cover the expense of transporting home bound patients via ambulance to and from doctor appointments and medical facilities if the person's medical condition necessitates it;
--there should be a tax exemption for full time family caregivers if they are under retirement age and need to withdraw their 401K or IRA savings in order to cover their own living expenses while caregiving. Currently there is a 20% penalty for early withdrawal;
--full time family caregivers should be eligible to receive compensation either via a yearly tax credit similar to the "economic stimulus" tax credit or be eligible to begin receiving their Social Security benefit;
--- there should be additional in-home training for family caregivers who need to perform medical tasks such as those required for caring for persons with advanced dementia and Alzheimer's;
-- family caregivers who leave full-time positions should be eligible to draw unemployment compensation; and,
--- there should be more emotional and psychological counseling available to family caregivers to assist them with the stresses of caregiving.
Like most family caregivers, I did not choose to care for a family member with the hopes of being compensated or with the expectation that others would share the responsibility for my mother's care. I still view my years as a caregiver as a labor of love. However, like all family caregivers I found that in addition to providing love and care to my parent, I was faced with challenges that at times were overwhelming.
Thank you for asking this question and allowing me to share my thoughts. And thank you for your tireless efforts advocating for caregivers.
Well those were just a few of my thoughts. If you are a family caregiver there is still time for you to share yours. Visit:
“If you employ a caregiver, what would make that experience better? If you’re caring for your family, is there anything (or things) that could make the hard parts easier to manage?
The thing is, while it often feels extremely isolating, caregivers are not alone. And with so many Americans turning 65 every day, the challenges many of us face in our daily lives are replicated in every corner of this country, at an accelerating pace.
We are going to provide our recommendations to the next president-elect as soon as possible after Election Day, November 8. So we need to know what you want and need today.”
While my journey as a family caregiver ended in 2012, I shared a few of my thoughts in the hope that they may benefit current and future caregivers. The following, with a few minor edits, was my reply. I still haven't mastered writing on a phone.
---
The following are just a few of the things that would have made my caregiving life easier:
-- uniformity in the laws pertaining to legal and healthcare Power of Attorneys across all 50 states and territories. Documents executed in one state need to be honored in all states because family caregivers often need to handle legal and healthcare issues with institutions which are based in states other than the one in which their loved one resides;
--insurance companies should cover the expense for home health aides (CNAs and registered home care aides) in the same manner in which they cover other rehabilitative and habilitative therapists, such as speech and occupational therapists;
-- insurance companies should cover the expense of transporting home bound patients via ambulance to and from doctor appointments and medical facilities if the person's medical condition necessitates it;
--there should be a tax exemption for full time family caregivers if they are under retirement age and need to withdraw their 401K or IRA savings in order to cover their own living expenses while caregiving. Currently there is a 20% penalty for early withdrawal;
--full time family caregivers should be eligible to receive compensation either via a yearly tax credit similar to the "economic stimulus" tax credit or be eligible to begin receiving their Social Security benefit;
--- there should be additional in-home training for family caregivers who need to perform medical tasks such as those required for caring for persons with advanced dementia and Alzheimer's;
-- family caregivers who leave full-time positions should be eligible to draw unemployment compensation; and,
--- there should be more emotional and psychological counseling available to family caregivers to assist them with the stresses of caregiving.
Like most family caregivers, I did not choose to care for a family member with the hopes of being compensated or with the expectation that others would share the responsibility for my mother's care. I still view my years as a caregiver as a labor of love. However, like all family caregivers I found that in addition to providing love and care to my parent, I was faced with challenges that at times were overwhelming.
Thank you for asking this question and allowing me to share my thoughts. And thank you for your tireless efforts advocating for caregivers.
Well those were just a few of my thoughts. If you are a family caregiver there is still time for you to share yours. Visit:
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Stocks or Home Equity? - What’s The Best Retirement Investment
Hello Everyone and Happy Grandparents' Day to my friends in the US and Happy National Dementia Carers' Day to my friends in the UK.
This week's Family Caregiver Question Of The Day involves planning for retirement. In today's economy is it better to build equity in your home or build your stock portfolio.
Before you answer the question here's a quick look back at Catherine Rampell's February 2013 article "In Hard Economy for All Ages, Older Isn't Better … It's Brutal". She wrote:
Thankfully the economy has bounced back since the recession and housing market slump of 2007-2008. However the savings, pensions and home equity lost by millions during that time period will never be recovered unless they invest rapid growth but risky stocks or take on the housing market. So what would you do?
This week's Family Caregiver Question Of The Day involves planning for retirement. In today's economy is it better to build equity in your home or build your stock portfolio.
Before you answer the question here's a quick look back at Catherine Rampell's February 2013 article "In Hard Economy for All Ages, Older Isn't Better … It's Brutal". She wrote:
"Young graduates are in debt, out of work and on their parents’ couches. People in their 30s and 40s can’t afford to buy homes or have children. Retirees are earning near-zero interest on their savings.
In the current listless economy, every generation has a claim to having been most injured. But the Labor Department’s latest jobs snapshot and other recent data reports present a strong case for crowning baby boomers as the greatest victims of the recession and its grim aftermath.
These Americans in their 50s and early 60s — those near retirement age who do not yet have access to Medicare and Social Security — have lost the most earnings power of any age group, with their household incomes 10 percent below what they made when the recovery began three years ago, according to Sentier Research, a data analysis company.
Their retirement savings and home values fell sharply at the worst possible time: just before they needed to cash out. They are supporting both aged parents and unemployed young-adult children, earning them the inauspicious nickname 'Generation Squeeze.'"
Thankfully the economy has bounced back since the recession and housing market slump of 2007-2008. However the savings, pensions and home equity lost by millions during that time period will never be recovered unless they invest rapid growth but risky stocks or take on the housing market. So what would you do?
As Diana Olick reported for CNBC in December 2014,
"Even as the stock market soars to record highs, federal regulators are announcing new, cheaper ways for cash-strapped borrowers to buy a home. With the catastrophic housing crash of the last decade still glaring through the rear view mirror, the government is again pushing home ownership as the best way to build wealth, but is it?"
'It would perhaps be smarter, if wealth accumulation is your goal, to rent and put money in the stock market, which has historically shown much higher returns than the housing market,' said Nobel Prize-winning economist Robert Shiller at a Standard and Poor's conference last week." -- "Where to put your cash? A house or a stock" by Diana Olick
This is just one of the many decisions facing family caregivers who are often planning for their own retirement while trying to manage the legal and financial affairs of their parents. This is our Through The Maze Question of the Week.
In addition to your feedback, I will be inviting financial and legal experts to share their thoughts and recommendations and, as always, I will be sharing posts from respected caregiver advocates and organizations. I hope that you will find these posts helpful and will share them with other caregivers.
And Thank You for supporting this page."
Thursday, September 10, 2015
You Could Fill One of America's Largest Cities With A Disease Many People Don't Know About
Did you know that one million Americans are living with a condition known as hydrocephalus? That's more people that the total population of cities like: Boston, MA; Pittsburgh, PA; San Francisco, CA; Seattle, WA; Denver, CO; Washington, DC; or Indianapolis, IN.
In fact, the odds are that you probably know someone with this condition and don't even know it and sadly they may not know it either.
When my mother was diagnosed with Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus no one in my circle of friends, family or colleagues had ever heard of the disease. In fact as late as 2011 I was still encountering health professionals who had never heard of Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus or who were under the impression that only babies had hydrocephalus. Some even thought that you could recognize a person with hydrocephalus by their appearance.
While more is being done to raise awareness about this condition, it is still not widely known, especially in the African-American and Hispanic communities. So in spite of my dread of being in front of the camera I posted this video on Youtube to remind people that September is Hydrocephalus Awareness Month and that hydrocephalus can affect anyone.
In the following video Dr. Adam Mednick appears on The Dr. Steve Show with his patient to discuss Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus (NPH) which is a brain disorder caused by the buildup of too much cerebrospinal fluid in the brain. "Many health care professionals are unaware of NPH," says Dr. Mednick, a neurologist and author of the book "NPH - From Diagnosis To Treatment".
"NPH can be difficult to diagnose, and it is commonly misdiagnosed as Parkinson's disease or Alzheimer's. It's important to be aware of the symptoms and get the right diagnosis because unlike these diseases, NPH can be reversed," says Dr. Mednick. For more information on NPH visit Dr. Mednick's website: http://www.ctcompneuro.com
"Additional information:
NPH is called "normal" because the condition develops very slowly, and initial tests often show that patients have normal brain pressure, when they actually do not.
It is estimated that 375,000 Americans have NPH, but unfortunately, only about 11,000 have been treated. Those who go un-diagnosed live the balance of their lives in wheelchairs and adult diapers.
Unlike Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease, many NPH patients can have their symptoms reversed by having a neurosurgeon insert a shunt in the brain to drain away excess fluid. In most cases, these people can return to their normal lives.
Adam S. Mednick, M.D., Ph.D. is a neurologist in private practice in North Haven, CT. He is board-certified by the American Academy of Psychiatry and Neurology."
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Calling Family Caregivers: Guest Bloggers Wanted on Through The Maze
There is a saying that doctors make the worse patients. Well something very similar can be said about parents when they find themselves in a position of needing to be cared for by their adult children. They can be the worst.
No matter how we love our parents and they love us, there are moments when our elderly parents seem determined to pay us back for our teenage rebellion and every childhood tantrum .
If you are, or were, a family caregiver who provides, or provided, more than 20 hours a week of in-home care for an elderly parent living either in your home or their's and would like to share your stories, poetry, photography, humor or suggestions, I invite you to guest blog on Through The Maze.
Sharing our stories can help future family caregivers prepare for the day when they find themselves in the position of feeding, bathing and changing the diaper of the person who once did all those things for them. Life gets truly interesting when the parent-child relationship is suddenly reversed. It's a dramatically different experience than caring for a child, spouse or other relative. No matter how you try to guard against it, there is no one else in the world who can bring out your "inner child" like your parents After all, they had your entire lifetime to practice. And no experience will evoke your childhood memories and emotions in quite the same way. One moment your parent has fallen and you are helping them up and the next moment you're remembering a time that you fell and your parent picked you up. Or one moment you're reading the newspaper or a book to your parent and suddenly your mind travels back to the many times your parent read to you.
By sharing our stories of the day-to-day, sometimes year-to-year, care of a parent, we can help others know that they are not alone in their experience. It is emotionally difficult to watch a parent struggle with the effects of aging or battle arthritis, cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's or any other form of life stealing disease. And as beautiful as the moment can be, no child of any age is truly prepared to be present to hold the hand and say goodbye to someone who has been a part of their life since they breathed their first breath.
And if you're a sandwich generation caregiver, sharing your story might help your teenager understand why your parent just got away with telling you to "shut up" but they can't. :-)
If you're interested in guest blogging here on Through The Maze email me at plkemp@pamelakempllc.com.
Or if you're already blogging on this topic, posting on another blog, or host your own blog, feel free to share a link to your posts or blog in the comments section. This isn't a competition, it's a community of family caregivers who know what it is to walk a mile in each other's shoes. Or as I like to say, journey through the maze of life.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Behind The Veil: The Ugly Truth of Loving Too Much
This is not a story about a romance gone wrong. I wish it was. That would be a much easier story to write and probably far more entertaining. Instead this is the first in a series of posts in which I will discuss the things I regret most as a former family caregiver and what can go wrong when you allow your emotions to overrule your business sense when making decisions about caring for a family member
In this series I will share details of my caregiving experience which I have never before shared publicly and are only known by my closest friends. I will also share advice from experts which I hope will help future and current family caregivers avoid making serious financial and legal mistakes.
Earlier this year PBS aired a documentary called "Caring for Mom & Dad"
which examine the costs of family caregiving. If you missed it, here's the trailer for that broadcast. I hope that you will visit their website, read the caregiver profiles, and review and share the caregiver resources.
Watching that documentary brought me to tears because I could empathize with so many of the caregiver's stories. They were strikingly similar to my own.
However, even after that documentary aired I was still too embarrassed to tell my own story here on my blog. Yes, I have shared bits and pieces of my caregiving journey with you, my blog visitors as well as with my close social media friends, but I have always been cognizant of the fact that candor and transparency can exact a high price. For bloggers and all writers, the cost of publicly sharing your thoughts is often paid in ridicule as well as the loss of privacy, job opportunities and even relationships. However, even with the knowledge that what I am about to write may be taken out of context, misinterpreted or, as they say in the legal system, "used against me", I am going to bring you up to date on my caregiving journey and share the good, the bad and the ugly of what has brought me to this point.
September 30, 2015 will mark the nine year anniversary of my leaving a job, which in spite of all of its challenges and frustrations I truly enjoyed, to become my mother's full-time family caregiver. It was a job at which I had: worked for nearly eight years, accrued four weeks paid vacation, excellent benefits; a salary that was above the market average for the position; and earned the respect and friendship of my colleagues. I had also tucked away the beginnings of a nice little retirement nest egg. All in all, life wasn't bad, in fact from the perspective of an outsider looking in, my life probably looked pretty good.
But here's what onlookers didn't see. Beginning in 2002-03, I noticed that my mother was having problems with bladder control and was becoming mildly forgetful and repeating herself. Her primary care physician prescribed Detrol for the bladder control issue and a low dose of Aricept for the memory issues. For awhile it seemed that Mom's health issues were under control but then she began having problems with her balance. It wasn't until the summer of 2004 that she was finally diagnosed with Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus.
As the symptoms of my mother's NPH began to worsen I was finding it increasingly difficult to juggle her care needs, the maintenance of the house, and the demands of my career. In attempting to do so, my own health was suffering to the extent that in 2003 I was briefly treated for clinical depression. And in November of 2003 my primary care physician had me undergo cardiac stress testing, a sleep apnea test and a cardiac catheterization to determine why my heart was beating so erratically. Fortunately, it turned out that what was officially diagnosed as pulmonary hypertension was a minor heart arrhythmia, a condition which had been diagnosed during a routine physical during my time as student at Emerson College, having been exacerbated by the rapid and dramatic weight increase brought on by the depression medication. It was a health scare that reminded me of my mortality and gave me cause for reflect on what I truly wanted for the second half of my life.
The solution to my health scare: restructure my life to better manage the stress.
In the summer of 2004 Mom's primary care physician referred her to a neurologist who after a series of MRIs determined that my mother had fluid on the brain, a condition known as Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. On the one hand, I was encouraged to learn that Mom did not have Alzheimer's and there was a possibility of treating her condition with shunt surgery. On the other hand, her prognosis without the intervention of shunt surgery was no different than Alzheimer's Disease. The news could not have come at a worse time for either of us. Before Mom's diagnosis, I had been in the process of repairing my credit and taking the steps towards buying a house and planning for my own retirement. After her diagnosis, I was faced with suddenly having to make financial, legal and healthcare decisions for an adult who had always managed all of those things herself.
After approximately a year and a half of weekly sessions with a wonderful psychologist I was able to discontinue the use of the depression medications. I would continue counseling through 2004, a year in which I filed for personal bankruptcy and began developing a plan to live on a strict budget, build my 401K savings, a move forward with building the life of my dreams. But that never happened. In early September of 2006 I would make the decision to resign my position, place my career on hold, and become my mother's full-time caregiver. The plan was: to spend quality time with my mom while she was still physically mobile and mentally aware; to significantly downsize our home; to relocate with my mother to a residence with lower maintenance in a more affordable community; to place the proceeds from the sale of the house in an account for my mother's long-term care; and to have all of this in place so when the day came when my mother passed away, I would have time to grieve and then move forward with my life. Even today, as I read this, it seems like a good plan. However, the plan failed not because it wasn't a good idea but because at during points along the way I allowed emotion to overrule my better judgment. In short, I made decisions that I would have never made it they hadn't involved my mother.
I will continue with more in this series later this week. In the meanwhile please watch this video: "The Toll That Caregiving Can Take".
In this series I will share details of my caregiving experience which I have never before shared publicly and are only known by my closest friends. I will also share advice from experts which I hope will help future and current family caregivers avoid making serious financial and legal mistakes.
Earlier this year PBS aired a documentary called "Caring for Mom & Dad"
which examine the costs of family caregiving. If you missed it, here's the trailer for that broadcast. I hope that you will visit their website, read the caregiver profiles, and review and share the caregiver resources.
Watching that documentary brought me to tears because I could empathize with so many of the caregiver's stories. They were strikingly similar to my own.
However, even after that documentary aired I was still too embarrassed to tell my own story here on my blog. Yes, I have shared bits and pieces of my caregiving journey with you, my blog visitors as well as with my close social media friends, but I have always been cognizant of the fact that candor and transparency can exact a high price. For bloggers and all writers, the cost of publicly sharing your thoughts is often paid in ridicule as well as the loss of privacy, job opportunities and even relationships. However, even with the knowledge that what I am about to write may be taken out of context, misinterpreted or, as they say in the legal system, "used against me", I am going to bring you up to date on my caregiving journey and share the good, the bad and the ugly of what has brought me to this point.
September 30, 2015 will mark the nine year anniversary of my leaving a job, which in spite of all of its challenges and frustrations I truly enjoyed, to become my mother's full-time family caregiver. It was a job at which I had: worked for nearly eight years, accrued four weeks paid vacation, excellent benefits; a salary that was above the market average for the position; and earned the respect and friendship of my colleagues. I had also tucked away the beginnings of a nice little retirement nest egg. All in all, life wasn't bad, in fact from the perspective of an outsider looking in, my life probably looked pretty good.
But here's what onlookers didn't see. Beginning in 2002-03, I noticed that my mother was having problems with bladder control and was becoming mildly forgetful and repeating herself. Her primary care physician prescribed Detrol for the bladder control issue and a low dose of Aricept for the memory issues. For awhile it seemed that Mom's health issues were under control but then she began having problems with her balance. It wasn't until the summer of 2004 that she was finally diagnosed with Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus.
As the symptoms of my mother's NPH began to worsen I was finding it increasingly difficult to juggle her care needs, the maintenance of the house, and the demands of my career. In attempting to do so, my own health was suffering to the extent that in 2003 I was briefly treated for clinical depression. And in November of 2003 my primary care physician had me undergo cardiac stress testing, a sleep apnea test and a cardiac catheterization to determine why my heart was beating so erratically. Fortunately, it turned out that what was officially diagnosed as pulmonary hypertension was a minor heart arrhythmia, a condition which had been diagnosed during a routine physical during my time as student at Emerson College, having been exacerbated by the rapid and dramatic weight increase brought on by the depression medication. It was a health scare that reminded me of my mortality and gave me cause for reflect on what I truly wanted for the second half of my life.
The solution to my health scare: restructure my life to better manage the stress.
In the summer of 2004 Mom's primary care physician referred her to a neurologist who after a series of MRIs determined that my mother had fluid on the brain, a condition known as Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. On the one hand, I was encouraged to learn that Mom did not have Alzheimer's and there was a possibility of treating her condition with shunt surgery. On the other hand, her prognosis without the intervention of shunt surgery was no different than Alzheimer's Disease. The news could not have come at a worse time for either of us. Before Mom's diagnosis, I had been in the process of repairing my credit and taking the steps towards buying a house and planning for my own retirement. After her diagnosis, I was faced with suddenly having to make financial, legal and healthcare decisions for an adult who had always managed all of those things herself.
After approximately a year and a half of weekly sessions with a wonderful psychologist I was able to discontinue the use of the depression medications. I would continue counseling through 2004, a year in which I filed for personal bankruptcy and began developing a plan to live on a strict budget, build my 401K savings, a move forward with building the life of my dreams. But that never happened. In early September of 2006 I would make the decision to resign my position, place my career on hold, and become my mother's full-time caregiver. The plan was: to spend quality time with my mom while she was still physically mobile and mentally aware; to significantly downsize our home; to relocate with my mother to a residence with lower maintenance in a more affordable community; to place the proceeds from the sale of the house in an account for my mother's long-term care; and to have all of this in place so when the day came when my mother passed away, I would have time to grieve and then move forward with my life. Even today, as I read this, it seems like a good plan. However, the plan failed not because it wasn't a good idea but because at during points along the way I allowed emotion to overrule my better judgment. In short, I made decisions that I would have never made it they hadn't involved my mother.
I will continue with more in this series later this week. In the meanwhile please watch this video: "The Toll That Caregiving Can Take".
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
It's A "Dog Eat Dog World" Even in Small Business
Thinking about becoming an entrepreneur, writer or work in other areas involving the arts? Be prepared, it is truly a "dog eat dog" world and whatever your field of endeavor you will face competition, setbacks and need to handle controversies.
Several years ago, I tried launching a home based business in order to have income while being my mother's full-time caregiver. I researched the natural food and nutritional supplements industry and decided that I believed in the products offered by Miessence, Nature's Sunshine and J.R. Watkins enough to not only use this but sell them to others.
I developed my network on LinkedIn and Facebook of family, friends, professional contacts and potential customers and began sharing information on the products as well as personal photos of my own recipes. I even took out Facebook ads to promote my business to a wider audience. I had high hopes. However like the vast majority of home-based and poorly funded startups I failed miserably.
Why?
It certainly wasn't for a lack of effort or time invested. The primary reasons that I failed were:
Was I hurt when I couldn't even convince friends and family who knew my financial struggles to support my business? Sure, but not as much as I was disappointed in myself. After all, I had once worked in public relations and now I couldn't even convince people to buy salt, pepper and cinnamon, products which almost everyone uses. I truly believed that trying to launch a home-based business was a far better solution to my financial problems them starting a charitable campaign like GofundMe. For quite some time, I allowed the scope of that setback to completely erode my self esteem. Feeling like a failure was devastating but as time moved on the experience proved to be an excellent teacher.
Fast forward the clock four years. I am no longer trying to sell any of the aforementioned products, or start an eBay store. Now I have relaunched my blog which runs affiliate ads from Amazon.com. So, what did I face this weekend but a New York Times article titled "Inside Amazon" which did not paint that company in the most positive light.
It light of that article the thought might naturally occur to remove the Amazon ads from my blog , but that isn't going to happen.
Like I said, I'm older, a little wiser and definitely see the world through far less naive eyes.
It's all just business.
In the meanwhile, you can help support my writing as well contribute to the purchase of a new computer and other home office equipment for my online tutoring business by purchasing products via this website. Click on the photo below to visit the Lee Store on Amazon.com. Also mark your calendar's for October 2nd and join Lee Jeans and the American Cancer Society in National Denim Day.
Several years ago, I tried launching a home based business in order to have income while being my mother's full-time caregiver. I researched the natural food and nutritional supplements industry and decided that I believed in the products offered by Miessence, Nature's Sunshine and J.R. Watkins enough to not only use this but sell them to others.
I developed my network on LinkedIn and Facebook of family, friends, professional contacts and potential customers and began sharing information on the products as well as personal photos of my own recipes. I even took out Facebook ads to promote my business to a wider audience. I had high hopes. However like the vast majority of home-based and poorly funded startups I failed miserably.
Why?
It certainly wasn't for a lack of effort or time invested. The primary reasons that I failed were:
1. the network that I formed had little to no interest in the products I was selling;
2. my products were in direct competition with more widely advertised products
3. An anti-nutritional supplements and herbal remedies campaign was running concurrent to my efforts to sell products.
4. I did not present a strong enough argument to convince my network to support my business.
5. members of my network were also my friendly competitors.
Was I hurt when I couldn't even convince friends and family who knew my financial struggles to support my business? Sure, but not as much as I was disappointed in myself. After all, I had once worked in public relations and now I couldn't even convince people to buy salt, pepper and cinnamon, products which almost everyone uses. I truly believed that trying to launch a home-based business was a far better solution to my financial problems them starting a charitable campaign like GofundMe. For quite some time, I allowed the scope of that setback to completely erode my self esteem. Feeling like a failure was devastating but as time moved on the experience proved to be an excellent teacher.
Fast forward the clock four years. I am no longer trying to sell any of the aforementioned products, or start an eBay store. Now I have relaunched my blog which runs affiliate ads from Amazon.com. So, what did I face this weekend but a New York Times article titled "Inside Amazon" which did not paint that company in the most positive light.
It light of that article the thought might naturally occur to remove the Amazon ads from my blog , but that isn't going to happen.
Like I said, I'm older, a little wiser and definitely see the world through far less naive eyes.
It's all just business.
In the meanwhile, you can help support my writing as well contribute to the purchase of a new computer and other home office equipment for my online tutoring business by purchasing products via this website. Click on the photo below to visit the Lee Store on Amazon.com. Also mark your calendar's for October 2nd and join Lee Jeans and the American Cancer Society in National Denim Day.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
QOTD: Would You Stay Behind During A Natural Disaster?
Most of us will never experience a disaster like the one's in the preceding video. However every year millions of people experience the devastating impact of hurricanes, tornadoes, snowstorms, floods and fires. Few are prepared.
Today's "Question of the Day" is primarily directed towards paid as well as unpaid caregivers, however anyone is welcome to share their response. The question is, "Would you stay behind in a natural disaster and risk your own safety if you were unable to move a patient or loved one?"
During my six years as a full-time family caregiver (Oct. 2006 - Dec. 2012) for a person I considered this question many times. Fortunately for me I had four years to prepare a disaster emergency plan before my my mother became bedridden. Today I look back on three weather events that directly impacted my life. I will also share tips on why every family caregiver should have a disaster emergency plan and how you should go about preparing one.
A Look Back At Snowmageddon
 |
| My front yard with 3 ft + of snow |
 |
| My backyard with snow drifts of up to 5' |
To view more of my Snowmageddon memories click here.
Here's the "Blow by Blow" courtesy of LiveScience.com:
"Dec. 26-27, 2010
The term 'snowmageddon' and 'snowpocalypse' originated with the first February blizzard of 2010, and stuck when President Obama used them. However, another severe snowstorm hit soon after on Feb. 9 and 10, and another struck later in the month. The nicknames are often used loosely to describe the winter weather for the month of February 2010.
Highest Snowfall:
February: 38.3 inches (97 centimeters) at Elkridge, Md.
December: 32 inches (81 cm) at Rahway, N.J.
The February blizzard also dumped a record-breaking 32.4 inches (82.3 cm) of snow at Washington's Dulles International Airport. However, that storm largely spared New York City. The Christmas Blizzard, however, brought 20 inches (50.8 cm) of snow to Central Park, while Washington was spared. New York City's record of 26.9 inches (68.3 cm) of snow, set in February 2006, still stands.
Number of States that Declared a State of Emergency:
February: 6
December: 6
A state of emergency in Philadelphia forced the cancellation of an NFL Sunday night football game during the December storm. The postponement prompted Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell to declare that delaying the game was further evidence of the 'wussification of America.'
The game was later played on a Tuesday night for the first time since 1946. The Minnesota Vikings upset the Philadelphia Eagles, 24-14."
http://www.livescience.com/29943-2010-christmas-blizzard-101228.html
Oh I remember it well. At this point in her illness my mother was still somewhat mobile but only with the use of a walker. She would need to be admitted to the hospital that February for a hernia and what her visiting nurse I am believed was a shoulder injury that resulted from being lifted by her arms after she had fallen. Mom was clinically obese after years of taking prednisone for her respiratory condition it was never easy getting her back on her feet after a fall.
Note to caregivers: Lifting larger people, especially those who are considered obese, or people who are extremely frail by the arms can damage the shoulder joints.
My mother would need to be hospitalized again in January of 2012 and wouldn't you know it, 3' of snow again.
A Look Back at Hurricane Irene
August 28, 2011, Irene hits Philadelphia
"At about 8 a.m. Sunday, meteorologist Bill Henley said that the worst of the storm has passed the South Jersey, Delaware and Philadelphia area. The hurricane was downgraded to a tropical storm as it reached Coney Island in New York about 9:15 a.m. But local flooding continues are water levels rise.
Mayor Nutter said Philly's been doing a great job so far staying safe during Irene.
'Keep doing what you've been doing,' Nutter said. 'Look out for each other, be safe, be calm. Don't make judgments that'll cause you to be in unnecessary harm.'
And perhaps, most importantly, he warned: 'If you don't have to be outside right now, stay inside.'
With severe flooding threatening much of the region and Hurricane Irene killing at least 10 people in four states as it moved up the Eastern Seaboard, Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter declared a state of emergency for the first time since 1986.'This could be the worst storm event to hit the Philadelphia area in 50 years,' Nutter warned.
About 139,000 area residents lost power as Hurricane Irene brought lashing rain and wind gusts of up to 54 mph at the Philadelphia International Airport. Tornado warnings were issued in southeastern Pennsylvania.
During a Saturday night emergency briefing the mayor said he expects the Schuylkill to crest at 15 feet and other creeks, rivers and streams to flood -- threatening nearby streets.
"That is historically significant," Nutter said of the Schuylkill. 'We have not seen that level of cresting since 1869.'
"
http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Hurricane-Irene-Barrels-Toward-Philly-Jersey-Delaware-128468208.html
I remember this well too. By this time Mom was bedridden and confined to her bedroom on the second floor of our home. She hadn't been downstairs or outside of her home since returning from the hospital in 2010. When The Weather Channel began predicting Hurricane Irene my biggest concern was the potential of a power outage. A power outage would mean that we would not be able to use Mom's nebulizer to administer her respiratory medicine and I would need to adjust her hospital bed manually. Thankfully our electricity stayed on. Many of my neighbors were not as fortunate.
The Earthquake That Cracked The Washington Monument
Ok, an earthquake isn't actually a weather event unless it causes a tsunami, but it definitely should be considered in your disaster preparedness plan. On August 23, 2012, an earthquake cracked the Washington monument and actually did damage to homes as far away as Philadelphia. Mom and I were lucky, it only moved our refrigerator about a foot across our kitchen floor.
"The earthquake that hit the Washington region last year was probably a tremor that occurs about once every 2,000 years, a new seismic study of damage to the Washington Monument suggests.
And the overall impact of the quake, emanating from a previously unknown fault three miles beneath Louisa County, Va., was the biggest ever east of the Rocky Mountains, the U.S. Geological Survey said.
The assessments came as the Washington area marked the one-year anniversary of the 5.8-magnitude quake that terrified residents last Aug. 23."
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/earthquake-damage-to-washington-monument-was-a-very-rare-occurrence/2012/08/23/cdc6d708-ed29-11e1-b09d-07d971dee30a_story.html
Luckily, Mom and I weathered all of these events fairly well. However, what would you do in these situations if you were caring for a person with cognitive or physical challenges and the worst possible scenario occurred?
Earthquakes, snowstorms and hurricanes are just three of the types of natural disasters for which we all need to have a plan to weather. This is especially true for family caregivers, paid caregivers and the elderly.
So now we return to today's question of the day for paid or unpaid caregivers: Would you stay with a patient/loved one in the event of a natural disaster?
There's a scene in the film "The Day After Tomorrow" in the the character portrayed by actress Sela Ward faces just such a dilemma, a decision the every nurse, school teacher and caregiver must be ready to make when a natural disaster occurs and you are responsible for the safety of another life as well as your own. Are you psychologically prepared?
The following is information from the Australian Psychological Society on the importance of being psychologically prepared
What does being psychologically prepared involve?
Step 1: Anticipating the psychological reactions leading up to a disaster
Step 2: Identifying the specific feelings and thoughts
Step 3: Managing responses to the stress
The importance of being psychologically prepared
Being directly involved in any potentially life-threatening emergency situation can be genuinely terrifying. People often don't have prior experience of being in natural disasters or knowledge of just how stressful this can be. When people are under severe stress they are usually not able to think as clearly as usual and this can affect decisions and reactions. These are normal, although not always helpful, responses to a possibly life-threatening situation.
When people have a better understanding of their own likely psychological responses in natural disaster warning situations this can help them to feel more in control and better able to cope. Being psychologically prepared can assist people to think more clearly and reduce the risk of serious injury and loss of life or property. Being cooler, calmer and more collected can also be very helpful to family members and others who may not be as well prepared psychologically for what is happening.
Of course, it is unrealistic to think that people can be fully emotionally prepared for such stressful and confronting situations as severe natural disasters. However, being psychologically prepared can help in coping with the stress of the unfolding situation and can help to reduce the distress after the disaster has passed. This does not mean that people can be fully prepared for anything that may happen or that being psychologically prepared means being emotionally ‘bullet-proof'.
Being psychologically prepared also includes having realistic expectations that an emergency situation such as a bushfire or cyclone event can very quickly become unmanageable, unpredictable and life threatening. Being able to anticipate that such a situation could occur can help people to ‘let go' when necessary and leave the situation to the expertise of emergency services.
What does being psychologically prepared involve?
Once the household emergency plan has been set and practised and the necessary physical preparations have been made, we can turn our attention to psychological strategies for managing the stress of a threatening natural disaster.
Psychologists use a term called ‘stress inoculation' to assist people to prepare themselves psychologically for emergencies, which in other words means planning to be better protected from stress by working through the likely psychological reactions beforehand and learning strategies to cope. These strategies ‘inoculate' people against being overly anxious or overwhelmed by their emotional responses, and will help prevent being caught up in unhelpful thinking in an emergency situation. Obviously this approach will work better with some disaster events that may be more frequent and to some extent more predictable, but the psychological principles can be applied for any emergency.
The way people feel in highly stressful situations is strongly affected by the way they cope with the signs of physical arousal (e.g., racing heart beat, shortness of breath) and the thoughts that they are having (e.g., ‘I can't cope'; ‘We're going to get badly hurt'). These reactions and thoughts can make people feel anxious, hopeless or even angry, and while these feelings are understandable, they are not very helpful in an emergency situation. Being psychologically prepared means that these natural reactions to stress can be anticipated and managed to help people feel more in control and confident.
There are three main steps to being psychologically prepared for a threatening natural disaster:
Anticipate the anxiety and concerns that will arise.
Identify uncomfortable or distressing thoughts and feelings that may cause further anxiety.
Manage the responses so that the ability to cope remains as effective as possible.
An easy way to remember the skills involved in being psychologically prepared is to focus on AIMing for psychological as well as emergency household preparedness.
Read the rest of this article at:
https://www.psychology.org.au/publications/tip_sheets/disasters/
A large part of being psychologically prepared to handle a natural disaster is having a plan. The following information is courtesy of DisasterCenter.com. If you are a caregiver I urge you to bookmark their website.
" Find out what could happen to you. By learning what disasters could occur in your community and what your risks may be (for example, living in a floodplain), you can prepare for the disasters most likely to occur in your area. Learn more by contacting your local emergency management office or American Red Cross chapter. Be prepared to take notes.
Ask the following:
• What types of natural disasters are most likely to happen in your community?
• What types of human-caused or technological disasters could affect your region?
• Ask about chemical emergencies, which can occur anywhere chemical substances are stored, manufactured, or transported.
• Find out if your home is in a floodplain. Check with your local emergency management agency.
• How should you prepare for natural and human-caused disasters?
• What can you do to protect your home and avoid or reduce the impact of the disasters that could occur where you live?
• Does your community have a public warning system?
• How will your local radio and television stations alert the community if there is an emergency?
• What do your community's warning signals sound like and what should you do when you are notified?
• If you care for young or elderly people or people with disabilities, how can you help them in a disaster situation?
• What might be some special needs to consider?
• What about animal care after a disaster? Pets (other than service animals) usually are not permitted in public shelters or other places where food is served.
• Where could you take your pets if you had to go to a public shelter?
Contact your local emergency management agency to find out about emergency animal shelters in your community, in the event that you have nowhere else to go and need to go to public shelter with your animals. Then, find out about the disaster plans at your workplace, your children's school or day care center, and other places where members of your family spend time. You should be prepared wherever you may be in case disaster strikes and learn steps you can take to prevent or avoid disasters.
For People With Disabilities
• If you or anyone in your household has a disability or a mobility problem, make special plans.
Note: If a member of your household has a disability or a mobility problem, such as some elderly persons do, or if you are planning to assist someone else who does, you should review the following steps.
If you have a disability or a mobility problem, you should consider adding the following steps to the usual preparations:
• Create a network of relatives, friends, or co-workers to assist in an emergency. If you think you may need assistance in a disaster, discuss your disability with relatives, friends, or co-workers and ask for their help. For example, if you need help moving or help getting necessary prescriptions, food, or other essentials, or if you require special arrangements to receive emergency messages, make a plan with friends or helpers. Make sure they know where you keep your Disaster Supplies Kit. Give a key to a neighbor or friend who may be able to assist you in a disaster.
• Maintain a list of important items and store the list with your Disaster Supplies Kit.
Give a copy to another member of your household and a friend or neighbor. Important items might include:
-Special equipment and supplies, for example, hearing aid batteries.
-Current prescription names, sources, and dosages.
-Names, addresses, and telephone numbers of doctors and pharmacists. If you get prescriptions by mail, confirm where you will be able to get them locally in an emergency.
-Detailed information about the specifications of your medication or medical regimen, including a list of things incompatible with medication you use, for example, aspirin.
• Contact your local emergency management office now. Many local emergency management offices maintain registers of people with disabilities and their needs so they can be located and assisted quickly in a disaster.
• Wear medical alert tags or bracelets to identify your disability in case of an emergency. These may save your life if you are in need of medical attention and unable to communicate.
• Know the location and availability of more than one facility if you are dependent on a dialysis machine or other life-sustaining equipment or treatment. There may be other people requiring equipment, or facilities may have been affected by the disaster.
• If you have a severe speech, language, or hearing disability:
-When you dial 9-1-1 (or your local emergency number), tap the space bar to indicate a TDD call.
-Store a writing pad and pencils to communicate with others.
-Keep a flashlight handy to signal your whereabouts to other people and for illumination to aid in communication.
-Remind friends that you cannot completely hear warnings or emergency instructions. Ask them to be your source of emergency information as it comes over the radio. Another option is to use a NOAA Weather Radio with an alert feature connected to a light. If a watch or warning is issued for your area, the light would alert you to potential danger.
-If you have a hearing ear dog, be aware that the dog may become confused or disoriented in an emergency. Store extra food, water, and supplies for your dog. Trained hearing ear dogs will be allowed to stay in emergency shelters with their owners. Check with local emergency management or American Red Cross officials for more information.
• If you have a service animal:
-Be aware that the animal may become confused or disoriented in an emergency. Disasters may often mask or confuse scent markers that are part of your service animal’s normal means of navigation.
-If you are blind or visually impaired, keep extra canes placed around your home and office, even if you use a guide dog.
-If you have a guide dog, train the dog to know one or two alternate routes out of your home or office. A guide dog familiar with the building may help you and others find a way out when no one else can see.
-Be sure your service animal has identification and your phone numbers attached to its collar, including emergency contact information through a national pet locator service.
-Have a complete pet disaster kit with food and water, medical records and identification, bowls, extra leash, a favorite toy, and a pet first aid kit. See “Disaster Supplies Kit.”
-Trained service animals will be allowed to stay in emergency shelters with their owners. Check with your local emergency management agency or American Red Cross officials for more information.
• If you use a wheelchair:
-Show friends how to operate your wheelchair or help you transfer out of your chair so they can move you quickly if necessary.
-If you use a power wheelchair, make sure friends know the size of your wheelchair, in case it has to be transported, and know where to get a battery if needed.
-Inquire about emergency equipment that would make it easier for others to help you get out if you live or work in a high-rise building and might have to evacuate via a stairwell. Make arrangements with others to be carried out, if necessary, and practice doing that.
• Listen to the advice of local officials. People with disabilities have the same choices as other community residents about whether to evacuate their homes and where to go when an emergency threatens. Decide whether it is better to leave the area, stay with a friend, or go to a public shelter. Each of these decisions requires planning and preparation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)